The Lighter Side

15 Fun Ways to Get Fired on Purpose

No explanation necessary. You are sick of your job, but don’t feel like putting in a two week notice and hanging around like a lame duck. You don’t have the initiative to get up and quit. You are a masochist. You want an excuse to behave badly.

Whatever your reason may be, you want a great list of ideas that will get you canned? You got it!

Yeah, this is a childish, inane post. But let’s face it, our inner child needs plenty of release from time to time, otherwise we’d all go mad!

The List

1. Take your drug screening “sample” and place it on your boss’ desk with a note saying, “I wasn’t sure where else to put this.”

2. Wear a katana on your back to the company meeting.

3. When you don’t get your change back, or your purchase gets stuck, kick the candy and soda machines repeatedly until they explode, spilling their innards all over the break room floor.

4. Give the receptionist a back rub at peak business hours.

5. Get on the elevator with your boss. When the doors have closed and it starts to move, press every other floor button on the panel, then laugh like a giddy child.

6. Vow that for one week you will not do any work of any kind. Just sit at your desk, let the phone ring, ignore e-mails and when someone asks you to do something, say, “That’s no longer my responsibility. Ask Alice. (or the name of your boss)” See how long you last.

7. Bring your dog to work every day no matter what. Also bring him into all meetings.

8. Repeatedly park in the boss’s parking space every day “by accident.”

9. Chew tobacco at your desk every day. Put a spittoon below your chair, but make sure to miss most of the time.

10. Give all your co-workers “grades” and put their “report cards” on their chairs every day. Grade them on how attractive you think they are, how they dress, and how much you like them. Be honest.

11. Enter your boss’ office when he/she is not around and glue his chair to the floor.

12. At the next company meeting turn your chair around and face the wall. When someone asks what you are doing, say, “I can’t bear to face a bunch of stupid monkeys like you people any longer.”

13. When someone is having one of those silly company birthday parties, shove your way in front of everyone else in the cake line, grab the cake, and run out the door. This will first be regarded as a bizarre prank, so make you people know you mean business by eating the cake as you run.

14. Demand a raise “or else.”

15. Bring a can of beige paint to work and pour it all over the walls, desks, and floor. Exclaim loudly, “There! I made this place even more sterile and plain-colored than it already was!”


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